global_rule: No music, diegetic SFX only. Raw ungraded handheld phone or press DSLR footage, auto wh

global_rule: No music, diegetic SFX only. Raw ungraded handheld phone or press DSLR footage, auto white balance cycling between warm and cool as camera swings from shaded [LOCATION] — the environment — toward harsh midday exterior daylight — slight overexposure blooming on the steps and [CHARACTER]'s attire, compression artifacts visible in high-contrast edge zones. At 0s the operator is jostling inside a tight crowd, camera pitched low and angled up awkwardly, catching partial views of shoulders and microphone booms before [CHARACTER] fully clears the open [LOCATION] entrance — a wide archway flanked by supporting structures, held open by an officer stepping aside — crowd noise surges, camera shutters machine-gun clicking, someone off-frame shouts Over here, over here. Autofocus hunts across a guard's dark suit jacket before snapping sharply to [CHARACTER]'s face at roughly 1s: [CHARACTER] the main character, lean build, neutral attire visible, expression neutral and stoic as [CHARACTER] descends with a side figure leaning close. Microphones lurch into frame from every angle — left edge, bottom, upper right — partially cutting off [CHARACTER]'s jaw and chin in the frame. Camera shakes hard at 2s as a competing press body pushes past the operator, framing lurching left, briefly catching a forest of phones raised behind a line, flash reflections flickering off the side figure's glasses. Autofocus briefly goes soft at 3s, background and crowd sharpening while [CHARACTER]'s face blurs, then snaps back as the operator steadies. Lens flare from direct sun slices across the upper-left quadrant of frame at 4s. Crowd roar peaks, reporters shouting questions, wind buffeting raw audio with a low thud. At 5s the camera is zoomed tight on [CHARACTER]'s face — stoic, scanning left and right — side figure partially eclipsing the right quarter of frame. At 6s, a figure tears out of the crowd to [CHARACTER]'s right, barely visible for one frame as a blur of motion — the camera does NOT anticipate this, operator completely unprepared — at 7s the prankster, a young person in casual attire, lunges full-body forward and drives a large cream pie directly into [CHARACTER]'s face with a heavy wet smack, whipped cream and pastry crust detonating outward in all directions, coating the attire, splattering across [CHARACTER]'s features. Camera jerks violently at impact, frame going completely chaotic for half a second — a flash of sky, someone's arm, blurred background — before the operator regrabs and frantically reframes, autofocus thrashing between the cream-covered face and background chaos. A beat of stunned near-silence cuts through the ambient roar at 8s, crowd collectively inhaling, then at 9s someone directly beside the camera screams I can't believe that actually worked, RUN, RUN and the crowd absolutely erupts — screaming, laughing, phones lurching upward everywhere into the frame edges, flash units popping white across the environment. [CHARACTER] stands frozen for two full seconds, cream dripping in thick ropes from eyes, features, and attire, debris settling across the scene. At 10s two guards in dark suits slam into the prankster from either side, driving them down onto the steps hard out of frame bottom-left, crowd scattering and surging simultaneously, the camera operator stumbling, frame tilting 40 degrees before correcting. Side figure backs against a column, covering face. At 11s [CHARACTER] raises both hands slowly, cream falling from fingers, and carefully drags both palms across eyes and cheeks, clearing enough to open eyes — expression cycling visibly through raw shock, then a slow disbelieving head-shake, then the corner of the mouth pulling upward — at 12s [CHARACTER] speaks directly toward the nearest cluster of microphones now rammed into [CHARACTER]'s cream-smeared face from below frame: okay. I'm not even mad. That was a good throw — voice flat, slightly hoarse, cream still dripping off chin as [CHARACTER] speaks, the line delivered with the exhausted calm of a being completely beyond caring. Camera autofocus drifts soft again at 13s as another body crosses foreground, then snaps back to catch cream sliding down the attire in slow heavy sheets, the ruined outfit absolutely devastated, guards in background still wrestling the prankster. At 14s the operator pans too fast chasing a detail, frame whip-blurring, catching only a smear of cream before settling back on [CHARACTER]'s face — now wearing an expression somewhere between incredulous laughter and the dawning awareness of cameras — multiple phone screens visible in background crowd all held aloft recording, flash reflections scattering across wet cream surface on [CHARACTER]'s attire. Final frames at 15s are still shaky and partially blocked by a press photographer stepping directly in front of the lens, cutting the frame dark for a half second before the clip ends raw.